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Read on to find out how it went and remember, what happens in a Dutch Spa, stays in a Dutch spa I do not tell lies, I promise you. This episode will give you a glimpse into what a lot of my friends call 'Heather's World'. I was single. I know, 'madness! Me, with my freakishly small earlobes, smooth elbows and hair like a healthy red setter dog. Yes, there was a time when I was on my own. I was also in a job where I was bored to death and needed some serious 'me' time.
I decided to get out of the city and have a break at Thermae in Valkenburg. I looked it up on the web, bought a day entry and the cheapest, but longest duration, beauty treatment I could find. Anyway, I was a sophisticated young single gal, what could go wrong? When I first came to this lovely country, I was mortified at the thought of taking my clothes off in front of anyone other than my husband to be, George Clooney, or a Marks and Spencer bra fitter.
But I was curious and nosey, so I dragged my partner in crime, Kay, to a local spa and, 'hey presto', I began to take my clothes off anywhere, any time and in front of anybody. A note to all who drink with me socially in the future, do not let me have any more than six glasses of wine or you will see parts of me you would not wish to see. And so there I was, off on an adventure to a different part of the country to legally bounce my beautiful, saggy boobs in public.
How exotic and windswept was I?! I arrived at Thermae soon after dropping my bag off at the local bed and breakfast where I was staying. My heart sank when I walked in. There was a sign saying, 'left for the naked section, right for the clothed section'. Bugger, I hadn't brought a swimming costume with me.
So I had to buy a swimsuit for an enormous amount in the spa shop. Ho hum. I got changed, and walked proudly into the naked part of the spa I took off my horrifically overpriced, russian shot putters bathing suit and start to shower myself in the open showers. To be quite honest it was all a bit of an anticlimax. There was only me and an elderly gentleman in the whole place.